Wow, it's been a while since I last posted, so I had better update.

I have coursework! Yay! ...And run away screaming. Both apply to me, luckily nothings due in till Dec, except for the thinking about career path thing that I have to do by Tuesday.

1. Career
2. Malaysia
3. Water resources
4. Environmental law.
5. Poster about ...surverying I suppose, but ours is about water. Group project...

Wow that's a lot of work to be done.

Anyway (1.) has to be done by this Tuesday, and is mostly done... Except I really don't understand it, and I'm terrifried of it so I'm avoiding doing more than I have to. (5.) my group wants to finish by Wednesday, and we are spending most of our free times Tuesday and Wednesday writing it up. Then we can design the poster.

(2.) should be fun. It's only 1000 words, but sounds really interesting. (3.) Will ...Confuse me. (4.) Will either go really well or really badly. Please be well... Please be well!

University is fun, and I have work to do, I just wish I knew why I'm sleeping so much.

Now onto the reasons this year is so much worse.

I was up till 5am, as in now, as in it's a lot later than I would normally stay up, but occasionally I would get up around this time.

Trying to catch the person who keeps setting off the fire alarm during the early morning.

Who said being on the warden team would be easy. It wasn't me. Wait did anyone say that? Probably not.

And my flat mates tried to take advantage. Four or five non-residents in my flat after midnight, that's double what's meant to be. I knew all the people, had met them and talked nicely to them at other times since at least 3 of those people spend a lot of time in my kitchen.

I won't moan about it not being fair. It's my job, and it had to be done. But I still dislike giving the hard answer.

I'm only human. A strange human to be sure, I like following rules, I go out of my way to make sure I'm following the rules. I also dislike people breaking those rules. No, I'm rabid about people breaking rules, especially when I already told them about that rule.

Small china figurine, large hammer. Hey look we have china dust.

I felt so good, and now I still feel good. Strange, normally after a night like tonight I would feel bad. I do... abit... But there's a larger part of me that's happy.

I can't like the job that much... Can I?

The reasons why this year is soo much better than last year,

I like my flatmates. It's strange isn't it, but one of the lads broke a mug of mine, and decided to buy me a new one. Isn't that just sweet? If he hadn't said anything I would never had know, I thought it was just an accident and i never expected someone would replace it.

I'm working on a great team, I mean they really are a good group. They can be annoying, but what did I expect? It's a team, not a marriage so I can put up with it if Laura and Rob want to pat me on the head, and make jokes that I'm so much shorter than anyone else.

I feel so good. I'm doing something I love. I made a good choice, what more can I ask? I made a good choice. and I'm happy with that choice.

It's autumn, a lovely time of the year, I mean between the rain, the wind and the thunder I'm in heaven weatherwise. I would prefer it to be colder, but you can't have everything.

And I do have an awful lot. But the most important thing is I'm happy. It doesn't happen enough, and I've been low for days, maybe weeks.

I'm happy. What else is there to want?

Right, it's been a week since I posted and I have calmed down a lot since then.

It's been a strange week emotionally, I've been down all week, half the time angry, some of the time near tears, and now I'm... Well I suppose I could say I'm happy compared to the last few days.

There's things to look forward to this week.

I'm not doing anything this weekend so I might go bikeriding again, it'll be fun and I need a bit of fun.

I went home and got a load of DVD's to watch, yay for me. So far I have watched 'My family and other animals' and 'Blackbeard' in two parts, I'm currently on part 2.

I brought 'House; series 1' over the weekend, then had to return it when I was told I was getting it for Christmas day. So now I have to wait months until I can watch that excellent series again. And I'm disappointed because I know know what one of my pressies are going to be, and for the past three years the DVD present has been one of my favorite if not the best.

I think I'm not having a good October. hmmm... Do I ever? They always seem quite bad, I much prefer September or November, and often I try to forgot Oct all together, in my head there's only 11 months, not 12, even when counting the months I forget October with suprising regurality.

Anyway, I'm happier this week. I'm writing fan-fiction again.

Hi again,

I want to rant, but it's a strange want. I don't normally get angry about things, well I do, and then I obsess over them, and then I do something that makes me feel better. Normally takes a week or more, and normally the thing I have to do has very little to do with what made me angry. It's never the same, but always the same. I just need to find my center again.

I'm a strange student. I don't like to drink, going out drinking makes me uncomfortable, and clubbing always makes me feel slightly ill.

But on Saturday I thought, why not? I'm in with a new group and I wanted to be friendly, and for most students if you say you don't want to go out drinking with them they think the problem is them and not the drinking part even if I explain.

It was more than slightly embarrassing. There was six of us, two couples and me and Chris. Now Chris is a nice enough lad, but he's not my type. He's already made me feel horrid once by accident, and I'm sure if he tried he could wreak my self-confidence. I'm not getting involved with someone who hurts me without thinking, just because he doesn't know this thing called tact. We certainly have things in common, and we can both make each other laugh. To me that means he could easily become a friend. Not a boyfriend. Anyway I have my eye on a boy in my course that seems to like me too.

So anyway I was already uncomfortable, and the others kept declaring that they were going to get me drunk. That made me angry, but I laughed it off. I never drink enough to get drunk, and I'm very careful of what I drink. I refuse to get drunk just because someone thinks I should, and I'm not getting drunk with people I don't trust as far as I could throw a house.

Anyway we went to Ride2 and had some drinks, (I didn't, but I had a sip of a cottail). Then we went to the weatherspoons and I had a small drink, and everyone tried it cause I refused to say what was in it, so I knew it wasn't spiked. (Ok, bad person I know, but like I said, I didn't really trust them that far when they were trying to get me drunk.)

Then it was decided we would go to Bar Rumble. I had never heard of this place, never been in it, and the others weren't saying what it was like.

I HATE Bar Rumble. It was a club. A crowded, too loud music, club. I had already said I disliked clubbing. I didn't say why.

I paid to get in, only a £1, and we walked to the bar. Then the music hit me. And I do mean HIT me. I ran out, nearly in tears, about to throw up as the room spun and I barely knew left from right. It was a good thing there was only one direction to get away from the music otherwise I wouldn't have found my way out.

Then I stood outside in the cold, trying not to cry, as I tried to regain my sense of direction and settle my stomach. I hadn't been that badly affected by a club for as long as I remember, and I still feel ill now. I normally avoid the places that make me ill, I normally avoid clubs that I don't know well, I normally avoid places that have music that unsettling.

I'm so glad Chris walked me home, because I don't think I could have found Robbins even if I was just a street away. Currently I'm afraid to go exploring again simply because if I got lost at the moment I really doubt my ability to know where 'home' is. And I always know in which direction Robbins is, I have since a week after I moved into the halls.

I didn't even know which direction to go in when we got to central Robbins, I almost went north until Chris asked 'Where are you going?' And I know Robbins almost as well as I know my own room, in some ways better.

It fightens me to think I was in someplace yesterday that I should have recognized, and yet my directional sense was saying I was going the wrong way. It's a good thing I enforced a strict route yesterday, or I might have wandered off like I normally do and gotten completely lost.

Today I had trouble finding a building I have been in dozens of times because it wasn't where my mental map said it should be. I had to look at a map of the university to find a building that I've been going into for a year and a bit.

I'm terrifried, and angry, and upset. It's not fair.

Hi strangers that are reading this, and if any people I know happen by then hello to you as well.

For some reason I want to say 'Today is the first day of the rest of my life' but that day happened a year and a bit ago, and won't happen again (I hope) for another eighteen months. But I still feel like I'm about to leap into the unknown and conquer the world.

Not that I want to conquer the world, it's a bit too messy for me, I just want to go tidy it up a bit, I mean we humans are sooo messy with our polluting and destruction. Silly humans.

What is sustainable development? I've been doing this subject in some (=1) of my lectures and it's really caught my imagination. Supplying the needs of today while not limiting the options of tomorrow.

Therefore nuclear power is NOT sustainable. Fossil Fuels are Not sustainable. And I could go on and on.

But we can't limit development too much, otherwise there wouldn't be any development and then we'll stagnate. It's not like we could convince everyone to give up all their luxuries and go live in a tent and grow their own food, and make their own clothes, and not destroy the only world we have.

Ok, not too evil, but I have a blog page, help!

I only decided to try this out since my friend Joey is doing one for Uni. Not very good at keeping any sort of diary, but I'm online about 4 times a day so maybe I will this time.

I write fanfiction. I also write other things but they don't tend to see the light of day. I write abit of Yugioh, and some Harry Potter.

I'm studying environmental science at Plymouth University. Great fun, very tiring, but I love it.

I'm also a assistant warden for University Halls, students really aren't that clever in their first year. ;)